An Honest Look at My Pregnancy

The reason we struggle with insecurity is that we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel”.

Social media, while having so many advantages, has at least as many disadvantages as well. It’s hard to hide from, and we’re bombarded with perfection every day: perfect make-up, perfect hair, perfect drops of sweat on perfectly toned bodies, models and athletes showing off their gorgeous pregnant bodies. For most of us, these images are completely unachievable and let’s be honest, while amazing, also pretty unrealistic. 

As a fit health coach for moms and moms-to-be, my goal is to empower women to feel their best through good nutrition, everyday physical activity, and lifestyle changes at any stage in their lives. And some stages are more difficult than others. Pregnancy is a good example.

If you follow me on social media, you see me posting healthy (and sometimes not so healthy) meals I prepare. You see my workout videos, you see my workout pictures. You sometimes get a glimpse at my family. Here are a few facts I haven’t shared:

• I’m a week away from when Sophie was born and I already gained more weight – this is completely normal the second time around in general, plus I wake up earlier, lift heavier and am generally more active, which also means I eat more (with Sophie I started at 132 ended up at 162, with Annabel I started at 128 and I’m up at 160)
• I have varicose veins – they’re absolutely not pretty, and are rather uncomfortable, not painful, but the sore kind of feeling, especially when I’m sitting for a longer period of time
• I have a lot of discomfort, it’s pretty much a downhill ride from after my workout (at 5:30am), which I push through and enjoy, but you should see me later in the day: I have a hard time getting up, I’m walking funny and slowly and you can just tell I’m not having a whole lot of fun (which may be the reason this nice guy offered to place a tub of Philadelphia cream cheese in my cart… )
• I have pelvic pain way more than I had with Sophie, which again is normal, but still not fun

So then what’s the point, you may ask. Why do I keep working out if I have aches anyways?

So many reasons:

• It makes me feel better about myself
• It makes me a better and more patient mom and wife
• It makes me more productive
• It improves my strength and endurance which in turn will make labor easier and bouncing back to my pre-gpregnancy body easier (hahahahaha on my word choice, bouncing, right, it still is going to be hard work but not as hard as it would be without exercise during my pregnancy)
• I would have way more aches and pains if I wasn’t working out, as evidenced by days I take off – my back is hurting, I get injured way easier (nothing major, just a wrong move here or there)
• Exercising makes me want to eat better and studies show that shaping young tastes starts early, even in the womb

So my point with this post is basically this: do what you can, do your best, do not compare yourself to anybody, love your body, love your body enough that you keep it healthy through physical activity and good nutrition, and most of all, love your unborn child enough that if you wouldn’t do this for yourself, you do it for him/her. I’m not trying to use emotional appeal here, do it for your child(ren), but it’s true. It all starts with you. The healthier you are, the healthier your family will be. The more confident you are, the more confident your children will be. And confidence has nothing to do with your look. It has to do with your strength – inner and outer strength. Believe in yourself because I believe in you. 

Pregnancy Week 33 Plan

Oh what a week last week was. So many things have happened. I got my citizenship, I’m so proud. I’ll be honest though, I took full advantage of being pregnant. Hee hee. I made my way to the front of the line, and it’s okay. I mean, nobody has to know I lift in the mornings, right? In all seriousness though, the ceremony is really awesome but incredibly long. Security lines are huge – just that day 3,985 people became citizens, that’s a lot of people, so you can imagine the amount of people. Being pregnant at the ceremony had other advantages as well, like they didn’t take my drink and snack (they took my husband’s drink away…). This was long overdue, and I couldn’t be happier.

Sophie again had a one day fever, Thursday night she went up all the way 102.7 – her fever goes up really high in a really short amount of time… So she skipped preschool on Friday – but at least I got to sleep in with her. Of course, she was totally fine on Friday, check this picture out and you’ll know what I’m talking about. 😉

My overall state of being can be characterized as tired and frustrated, overall. I still wake up at 4:45am to read (right now I’m reading The Power of I Am by Joel Osteen), then I work out, morning prep, take Sophie to preschool, work at home, pick Sophie up, spend time with her, make dinner, have dinner, walk the dogs (on better days, it hasn’t been happening as much as it should lately), evening prep then bed time. The days are long, but productive. And I’m not frustrated with anyone in particular, just in general. Which I think it’s worse, actually. But it is what it is, other than being aware of it and controlling it that way, there’s not much else I can do about it. Did you feel like this during your pregnancy? 

I had a friend  come over and help me sort baby clothes this weekend, it’s crazy how much we have saved, what’s even crazier is how much of what is not salvageable I actually kept. Did you keep your old baby clothes?

But on to this week: I’m 33 weeks pregnant!!! I’m definitely feeling it, I’m sore, have more belly ache and pressure, baby girl is definitely putting mommy to the test. I’m excited to meet her but of course, for now, she needs to stay in there where it’s safe for her. I’m worried a tiny bit though, about how mornings and evenings are going to be, how we’ll manage two amazing girls with both of them getting love and attention. I know, I know…. These things resolve on their own, but the truth is, both will get less love in a way. 

Last week our meals were good and I got all my workouts in – took Friday off but used Saturday as my makeup day. Mornings are the best, it’s all downhill from there, haha.

With that, this weeks plans are:

Until next week, stay active, eat well, and be happy. 🙂 

Pregnancy Week 27 Plan

Is it me or did my belly really just get that much bigger? It feels like it grew big time. It’s a good thing though, it means baby inside is growing.

It’s been a tough week. Ever since catching whatever Sophie brought home from preschool I couldn’t get better. It felt like everything was getting worse again: the cough, the shortness of breath, the pain when coughing/sneezing (interestingly enough, when in child’s pose, the cough didn’t hurt). So I ended up going back to my primary care, who basically scared me into going to the ER after talking to a professor friend of his who said we can’t know if I have pneumonia, water in the lungs, pluralism, pulmonary embolism or what, and I should take antibiotics. So I did end up going, got a chest X ray which showed nothing, which is a good thing but then after it it’s like great, I just exposed my baby to radiation for nothing (I know it wasn’t for nothing, but still). I really was just getting worse though. It finally feels lime I’m getting better, though I do have a hard time breathing every now and then. I guess I just have to accept that this pregnancy is a lot harder on my body. Not sure if it would be if I hadn’t gotten sick, but no point crying over spilled milk, right?

Anyways. 

Looking back at the last week

Workouts: Couldn’t do everything I had planned, missed the yoga and the BOD maternity workout. It’s okay though. I still did a total body, a cardio, a lower body and an upper body routine. As the pounds are coming on, working out truly boosts my confidence.
Meals: Yeah, forget about tracking them. Just simply not happening. Sticking to them is easier and I’m definitely succeeding at adding greens to most of our meals, so I’ll call last week a success in this respect.

On to this week

My workout plan is:

And our meal plan is:

This week’s goal is to pass the blood glucose test. So keep your fingers crossed for me, please.

Until next week: stay active, eat well and be happy!  🙂 

Pregnancy Week 26 Plan

It truly is crazy how time flies by. I can’t believe that I’m only two weeks away from my third trimester. 

This is me this am after a killer total body workout. My back is still hurting so I had to do push ups on my knees, which is okay – do your best and forget the rest, right? The most important things anyways during pregnancy are maintenance and safety. Maintaining health, muscle and cardiovascular strength all while keeping mommy and baby safe.

With that said, my workout plan for this week is:

Meals as planned for the week (Sophie’s lunch is planned around whatever the school provides only I make it at home to keep it healthier, but I try to make whatever the rest of the children are getting).

I’m really looking forward to this week. Probably more to figuring out why I can’t speak a full sentence without this shortness of breath and choking up. Going to see the doctor tomorrow, hopefully we’ll figure this out. I wonder if my respiratory tract infection from around Christmas created a secondary infection. Either way, I’ll know more tomorrow and I’m just happy it doesn’t keep me from working out.

Until next week: stay active, eat well and be happy! 🙂 

Sophie is Not Having a Little Sister/Brother This Time Around

Some things we don’t have control over. With some things we just have to have faith and trust that they happen for a reason. That it is for the greater good.

I have been MIA for a while now, and that’s because normally, the first 12 weeks of pregnancy are private. So many things can happen. Actually, mostly only one thing can go wrong, and that’s when the woman miscarries. Miscarriages are more common than most of us realize, and in the majority of the cases happen because something is not okay with the developing fetus. Chromosomal issues, something doesn’t develop the way it should. Things can go wrong. And this time around, things did go wrong for us.

I am sad and disappointed. But I also know that my body knows what it’s doing. I trust my body. That’s the rational one in me talking. The emotional one says that we planned for this pregnancy, it happened, and now we lost it. It’s an emotional and physical journey. I was only five weeks, so luckily, I did not and will not end up at the ER. But it is physically painful.

Nonetheless, since I was offline blogging about it, I figured I’d share still. Maybe it will reach someone in similar shoes. Maybe it will encourage someone. Because the fact of the matter is, that one miscarriage means nothing. It does not mean that a woman is not capable of carrying a baby, or that she can’t have one. One miscarriage, though devastating, has no future implications in most cases. Of course, for me, having Sophie already helps tremendously. I know we can have kids. And she has been my rock. I don’t have to tell her how I feel, or what I need. She just pulls me close, and hugs me. Gives me a kiss. She’s only two so she doesn’t talk, but talk is not what I need. Her hugs and kisses, my husband’s support, my friends’ company (friends… more on that later, that’s another rather sad story). Knowing I’m not alone. And knowing we’re gonna have way more sex now. 😛

So if you’re interested, here are the first five weeks:

June 9, 2014 – The Ulterior Motive

I start The Ultimate Reset. I read maybe a year ago that people on it have gotten successfully pregnant.

June 8, 2014
I start using the Clearbly Fertility Monitor. It tracks both the estrogen and LH hormones predicting the most fertile days. Day 18 it goes to high. Stays there until Day 24, and then drops, never showing the release of an egg. I’m disappointed. It is completely normal for a woman to have a nonovulatory cycle, and I know when we were trying for Sophie, I did have a month or two when it did not show any signs of ovulation. Still, it sucks. I’m hoping this is just one those months and not a problem I need to be worried about.

July 10, 2014
Day 33. Completely normal, my cycle runs a little longer. If it wasn’t for the monitor not saying I did not ovulate this cycle, I’d start getting excited.

July 12, 2014 (Sunday)
3:30 am
Still nothing. I do feel a little bit more tired, and am hormonal. I blamed it on PMS, but we have a brunch date, just my hubby and I (I’d been dying to go on a date but with a toddler and our families on another continent, it’s hard, plus I love breakfast, so brunch sounds perfect). I really need to pee. Should I have mimosas with my breakfast, or not? I take a pregnancy test.

I place it in a zip lock bag on my husband’s night stand, but he wakes up. Accuses me of smiling because I had chocolate. Cute. But no. I show him the photo, he’s really happy. We both are. Neither of us can sleep.

July 13, 2014 (Monday)
I call my OBGYN, I can’t wait for him to see me. They only do though at week 6. I have four more weeks to go. FOUR. Feels like an eternity.

End of month one. It has been tough. I’m having crazy emotional lows, nothing I experienced when I was pregnant with Sophie.

My workouts have been on track, here’s what I did.

But my nutrition has been less than stellar. This week (week four) I ate rather crappy (sorry, but that’s the honest truth). Emotional eating is really a bad thing and it is NOT okay to blame it on hormones and pregnancy. Because while it has to do with it, we ALWAYS have a choice. The choice to choose fruit instead of a full bar of chocolate and chocolate chip cookies. Flavored frozen Greek yogurt instead of full fat ice cream. So tonight I’m getting rid of all those and am starting anew tomorrow. By the time you’re reading this, I’m 100% back on track. And I don’t take that lightly.

MONTH 2

July 29, 2014 (Tuesday)
In month 1 I told you I’m having these emotional lows. Today, Sophie is under the weather a bit, she’s having an elevated temperature and a runny nose. So we cuddled on the couch.

And it hit me. It hit me that this moment, like any other present moments will be gone forever. That this exact image soon will not be the same. It will never again be just Sophie and me on the couch like that. I read once that a mother’s love is infinite. That it’s not like I’ll have less for Sophie because we have a second child. It’s not something that’s divisible. But for now, the only child I hold is Sophie. The only child I can touch, breath in the moments we spend together, is Sophie. And for a second, the question “Am I ready?” popped into my head. Am I? But then I closed my eyes, and this vision appeared. This vision of the same image but with another child sitting there. As I was hugging that baby, I could feel the love in my heart. See the love in Sophie’s eyes. I’m ready. We’re ready. And each moment will be just more perfect. But until then, I treasure every second with my girl. She’s so perfect. ❤

August 1, 2014 (Friday)
I had my first pregnancy dream. I was in the hospital, in a really good mood, talking with my mom, both of us sitting on my hospital bed when they brought my baby in. I said “yes, I was right, it’s a boy” and my mom looked at me and said, “no, look, it’s a girl”, so I looked and yes… It was a girl, and I was really surprised because I was 100% sure it was a boy. I do feel a lot differently with this pregnancy than I did with Sophie, so I do think it’s a boy. But when I looked at my newborn in my dream, she smiled at me. I loved it. I loved her. I love being a mom and I can’t wait to hold my baby. Whatever the gender.
I also happened to catch Sophie’s cold. Try having a sore throat when you feel nauseous. Not fun. Luckily, some natural remedies (link) really helped me get over it fast.

August 2, 2014 (Saturday)
One side effect of pregnancy are vivid dreams. I had an extremely vivid and not too fun dream. Basically, an apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic dream. It had to do with large amounts of water (whenever I have a catastrophe dream, water is involved, like huge waves, or the ocean taking over the land, something like that). There were also machines. Hiding bunkers. No hygienics. But I survived. No one else was there with me after it was all over, I was in line to get food, they were handing them out in large see-through bags, the food looked gross. Meatballs, but they looked old, and the portions were tiny. Robin from HIMYM was there in the line too…. And in the next scene I was looking for a matching pair of shoes for my mom in old boxes in some abandoned house. She had some job interview, I think. Overall, I was just happy to be alive.

August 4, 2014 (Monday)
I’m feeling a lot happening in my belly. I also had some blood infused mucous the last few days. Tiny amounts, not to worry, but who doesn’t right? I remember having some blood with Sophie in week 8, I was crying the whole day, I was extremely scared, terrified, rather. So I know it’s normal. I also don’t know how far along I am. I could be in week 8, actually, according to the Bump app, I am there. My calculations, I’m 5 weeks along, but that’s because I’m looking at it from the possible day of conception, not the first day of my last period. Anyways, I’ll know more next Tuesday. Next Tuesday can’t come fast enough.